Miscarriage Memorial Ideas to Help You Find Closure

After a death, we have rituals to memorialize the lives of people we’ve lost–memorial services, wakes, etc. But after miscarriage, many parents mourn privately and in silence. It doesn’t have to be this way, and it’s one of our greatest hopes that this community shows you how to ask for acknowledgement and support when you’ve experienced loss. But if you’re wanting to privately memorialize miscarriage, there are many great miscarriage memorial ideas to help you on your grief journey.

Miscarriage memorials give us closure and provide a place to actually locate our grief. To look at it and say: I see you. You’re valid and normal, and my baby deserves to be honored.

In fact, miscarriage memorials can bring a semblance of closure and are even beneficial for your emotional health.

To help guide you through miscarriage grief, I’m sharing ideas for miscarriage memorials that can provide support and comfort, including my own miscarriage memorials.

Miscarriage Memorial Service Ideas

Many families have miscarriage memorials soon after their losses. For some, this provides a more immediate sense of closure, although the grief can wax and wane over a lifetime.  

What matters is not when a miscarriage memorial occurs, but that it honors the needs and the personalities of both partners.

Whether you’re planning your own ritual or buying a miscarriage memorial gift, honoring the loss parents is your main goal.

The suggestions below cover various types of miscarriage memorial ideas to fit different needs of different families, personalities, and grieving styles.

Some are celebratory and group-oriented. Others are private, quiet, and introspective. Here are a few of my favorite, meaningful options:

• Candle lighting: Mine and husband’s candle lighting ceremony was just as it needed to be. Candle lighting is an intimate ceremony, and the best part is that you can decide what you want it to look like. All you need are candles and a full heart.
• Balloon send-off: Many loss parents love this because it allows them to truly envision their little ones ascending into the Heavens, the universe, whatever they believe in. It can be private, or done among a support group of friends and family. To keep it environmentally friendly, I like these biodegradable balloons.
• Lantern parade: Want to involve other people in your ritual and make it more a celebration? Buy a variety pack of paper lanterns and organize a small lantern parade with the people you love.
• Naming ceremony: Many people choose to name the children they lost, whether they knew the sex of the baby or not. A lot of people use names they’d considered for children. Others use mythical or fantasy names. I know a lot of angel babies named after constellations, living among the stars.

Miscarriage Memorials for Your Home

Creating symbols to remember your loss is extremely effective in helping parents manage their grief after pregnancy or infant loss.

A symbol provides a tangible way to mourn something abstract. Many are metaphorical symbols of life or loss that have significant meaning to the grieving parents. Here are some of our favorites:

1. Plant a Tree, Flower, or Garden

This is an especially good plan if you live somewhere you’ll be for a while, or permanently. And, of course, if you have a green thumb.

Some people plant one plant, tree, or flower bed to honor their little one(s) gone too soon.

Planting a small garden is also an idea–imagine walking out into your yard and being able to physically place your loss. Just as many families visit a gravesite and leave flowers, having a space that represents flourishing life provides tremendous comfort to many families of miscarriage.

2. Create or Buy Meaningful Art

After my third loss, my friend Tessa sent me this simple but beautiful artwork.

If you’re a creative person, perhaps you could draw or paint meaningful art yourself to remember your little one.

3. Book Shelf Space

I have a space on the bookshelf in my living room that I call my shrine.

There are 4 little wooden angels, all different sizes, that spoke to me the second I saw them. Behind them is a piece of metalwork, crafted by a Haitian artist to represent the Tree of Life. In front of that “tree,” there are 4 candles, one honoring each of my angel babies. The same four we lit on the anniversary of my first due date in Maine.

4. Miscarriage Shadow Box

A miscarriage shadow box is a wonderful miscarriage memorial that will fit in any home, no matter how much space you do or don’t have.

Many people keep items from their pregnancies–pregnancy tests, the onesie they ran out to buy, ultrasound photos if they were far enough along to keep them.

This is my favorite shadow box for such memorials. It feels personal and warm. 

Making a shadow box with these items can be a great addition to your home to help with remembering your baby.

5. Miscarriage Memorial box

If you don’t want your pregnancy tests to be visible, or you want to keep your memorabilia more private, use a miscarriage memorial box.

You can buy these, or build them yourself, if you’re crafty. I’m not crafty at all, so purchasing is always the way to go for me.

This is my favorite keepsake box for miscarriage. I love its message and beauty, as well as the privacy it provides. You can leave it on a bookshelf in your home, but visitors don’t see what lies inside.

I’ve had many parents report that the process of building the box was both individually cathartic and healing to the couple building it together.

One couple had the remains of their lost pregnancies cremated, so they worked together to build beautiful urns that hold the ashes.

6. Miscarriage Memorial Tattoos

Miscarriage tattoos are among the most common types of miscarriage memorial. Here at Undefining Motherhood, we have a whole article commemorating our readers’ miscarriage tattoos.

Tattoos are a great way to honor your lost little ones because, in a way, it keeps them with you always. I’ve seen small stars, birds, angels, and the miscarriage heart symbol.

There are also larger representations if you’re into that sort of thing, which are also lovely.

My Own Miscarriage Memorial

After pregnancy loss, parents often struggle with the intangibility of the experience.

There’s no funeral service, no t-shirt that smells like their child, no gravesite, no favorite teddy bear.

Parents might have a onesie they bought to announce their pregnancy, a positive pregnancy test, or maybe an ultrasound photo.

But rarely are we left with anything to physically hold onto. Just empty arms and a broken heart.

This is where rituals, memorials, and gifts come in.

We had a one-time miscarriage memorial service, like a funeral, on the due date of my first pregnancy. Unlike a funeral, however, it was a small, intimate affair between only Husband and me.

On June 17, 2016, Husband and I sat on the waterfront at sunset in Maine and lit 4 candles, one for each pregnancy lost.

Husband is of the quiet persuasion (it’s probably clear that I talk enough for us both), so we said nothing aloud. We found a secluded spot on the coast and had a moment of silence for each of our little ones.

We chose candles as our memorial symbol. They lifted our unspoken words up to the skies so they could be heard by our angels.

I don’t know what Husband said in his moment, and I will never ask. I had my moment. He had his.

Then, we came together for our memorial. Eye contact confirmed we’d both silently said all we needed to say. So we held the lighter together as we lit each candle and watched until they burned out in the wind. These four same candles now sit on our bookshelf at home.

What Miscarriage Memorial Is Right For You?

Whether you prefer to have a one-time event like a private memorial service for your miscarriage, or you want something in your home to remind you of your lost little one, there’s no one right way to memorialize your miscarriage. We hope one of these ideas are perfect for you.