Let’s be real here. Gifts for miscarriage don’t take the pain away. But when I was in the depths of recurrent miscarriage, my friend Mary Katherine showed up with a miscarriage care package that really perked me up.
I don’t mean that I suddenly felt better. Or that I needed things. But when people took the time to create a miscarriage care package, or to figure out appropriate gifts for miscarriage, I understood that they really, truly cared.
Gifts are one of many ways of helping a friend through a miscarriage. Texts and calls were great, and I appreciated them tremendously. But I felt so loved when I received something physical, no matter how small.
If you’re the person experiencing pregnancy loss and are looking for ideas that might help you, learn how to create a miscarriage memorial.
If you’re the person looking to comfort parents experiencing miscarriage, read on!
What to Do For Someone Who Has a Miscarriage
This is the most common question I’m asked when people reach out to me because a loved one is experiencing pregnancy loss. “What do I do for someone who has a miscarriage?”
The answer: Do something!
It really is that simple.
I’m not suggesting that you do anything major. Just a small token of your love and thoughts is worth more than you’d imagine.
Miscarriage is a subject that has been kept silent for so long that most of us don’t know how to support others through it. And when we go through it, we often aren’t aware of how common an experience it is.
If someone has opened up enough to tell you they’re experiencing a miscarriage, just do something. The fact that you’re doing anything at all, no matter how big or small, shows that you recognize their grief as valid and you’re trying to support them.
When you’re in the depths of this intangible grief–having lost this person you dreamed of but didn’t really know–the most important thing is knowing that people are trying to understand your loss, and that they care.
Healing Gifts for Miscarriage
What helps people heal most is the ability to work through their grief and a sense of community.
You can gift them both here.
This journey is by a miscarriage mama, for miscarriage mamas. It provides 100 pages of healing that help women experiencing pregnancy loss feel their emotions and move forward in their grief.
Not a typical journal, Mourning Retreat: A Journal for the Sisterhood of Pregnancy Loss goes well beyond typical journal prompts. It includes those pages, but also includes actionable exercises to help a new mom move forward–when, and only when, she personally feels ready.
To purchase Mourning Retreat as a gift, simply click the “gift” icon next to “email address” during checkout.
Jewelry can be an amazing token of remembrance. Purchasing jewelry with the lost child’s would-have-been birthstone is an especially personalized gesture.
That said, you’re likely not looking for a big gift, and I’d leave people to pick out their own nice jewelry, so think more on the side of small tokens.
I selected a pearl ring for myself because it’s the would-be-birthstone of my first lost child. Coincidentally, it’s also Jack’s birthstone, which makes it extra special.
But I would never expect that level of gift from someone else, and there was something special in getting to choose it with Husband.
If you’re buying jewelry as a gift for miscarriage, think small, simple, and thoughtful.
Jewelry is a common symbol because it is something you can keep with you, which many loss parents find comforting. I love this sweet customizable necklace from Bella and Blush on Etsy because it’s great for validating loss.
I also love this sweet “Too beautiful for earth” bracelet by Joycuff.
Creating a Miscarriage Care Package
One extremely thoughtful gift for miscarriage is a miscarriage care package.
The upside to a miscarriage care package is that it shows how seriously you’re taking the loss.
The downside is that it takes a bit of work to assemble a group of items.
If you want to buy a pre-made care package, you might be able to find a spa gift basket, like this one from the hilariously named Bougie Bath.
Note: Before buying bath products as a gift for miscarriage or to create a miscarriage care package, I recommend knowing as much as possible about the miscarriage. Moms who lose pregnancies naturally can enjoy these products, but those who require surgery (a D&C) are usually put on bath restrictions for 6 weeks.
What To Include in a Miscarriage Care Package
Because so many women can’t take baths after miscarriage, and because I like the personal touch of a care package someone assembled personally, I’ll provide suggestions below for the best miscarriage care package contents.
(1) Something soft and fuzzy
A miscarriage teddy bear is always a good choice because it’s easy to snuggle with, and having something to wrap your arms around while you grieve is never a bad thing. Especially when you wanted to wrap your arms around a new baby.
Fuzzy socks because they are warm and comforting. For me, having on a sweatshirt and fuzzy socks on makes me feel like I’m tucking myself away from the world. It’s insulating and intensely comforting.
(2) Candy or a favorite snack
I’m partial to edible cookie dough.
Having something to snack on (especially your favorite snack) can be comforting because your brain releases serotonin when you stress eat, the same chemical released by antidepressants. This can make you happier–even if only for that moment.
(3) Magazine or book
You Are Not Alone is a fantastic book for helping moms feel less isolated in their grief.
Escaping through a magazine or an easy-to-read book can be the perfect way to release yourself from grief for a bit.
(4) Heating pad
Flowers are obviously a quick and easy gift for miscarriage. If you want to do something simpler than creating a miscarriage care package, flowers are a good bet.
People aren’t sure of protocol, so questions I get a lot are things like, “Should you send flowers for a miscarriage?” and “What color is the miscarriage flower?”
I’ll answer in order.
Send flowers for a miscarriage if you want to. Again, what’s important isn’t so much what you do, but that you do something.
And no, there is not actually a miscarriage flower. And if there’s a color, I’ve never heard of it. Still, this is a common question.
To pick the best flowers, keep the following ideas in mind.
- Judge based on the person. You know them, and you know what they like. I love the color purple, so I wasn’t surprised when I received purple flowers, and it felt like a special, personal touch.
- White flowers tend to symbolize innocence, so I think they’re a great choice for miscarriage flowers.
Other Miscarriage Gift Ideas
Of course, there are tons of other things you can send as gifts for miscarriage.
I know many women who have received artwork, included hand-drawn artwork. This is so special because it’s so personal. The three hearts my friend Tessa sent after my third loss will likely live on my dresser forever.
Another great gift is anything small and pretty involving angels. Many parents of loss refer to their lost children as “angel babies,” and they regularly see angels as representing their children.
I keep 4 wooden angels on my bookshelf to represent the 4 children we lost.
Stephanie received 4 hand-crocheted angels as a gift, and she included them as part of her photoshoot before birthing her rainbow baby. (Not sure what a rainbow baby is? Learn the rainbow baby definition, and about the complicated emotions of having a rainbow baby.)
And finally, a gift card for dinner never hurts.
Gift cards tend to be too impersonal for this sort of loss, but when my friend Tessa sent one for a meal delivery service, I knew she was thinking of making my life easier. And it meant the world to me.
When to Send a Miscarriage Gift
I suggest sending a small gift as soon as you learn someone has had a miscarriage. The gift can be something as big as putting together a miscarriage care package or as simple as a card.
What matters is that the person you want to support feels loved and supported through a time during which most people feel very isolated.
More Miscarriage Products and Gift Guides
- Our favorite miscarriage ornaments
- Miscarriage tattoos
- Books about miscarriage
- Miscarriage memorial gifts
Miscarriage Support Posts
- What not to say to someone who had a miscarriage
- Why you can say no to attending a baby shower after miscarriage
- Surviving back-to-back miscarriages
- Beth’s ectopic pregnancy story
- Arden’s misoprostol experience
- Katy’s blighted ovum story
Posts About Rainbow Babies
What gift for miscarriage have you found to be especially helpful?
What is a miscarriage care package?
A miscarriage care package is a thoughtfully curated group of items arranged in a basket or gift bag that help support parents who have recently experienced a miscarriage.
Why should I sent a miscarriage care package?
Miscarriage care packages are a great way to show parents experiencing pregnancy loss that you care. These parents are at a vulnerable time, and letting them know you’re thinking of them is invaluable.
How do I know when to send a gift for miscarriage?
There is no bad time to send a gift for a miscarriage, but we suggest sending something immediately after you hear about the loss.
What should I say to someone who had a miscarriage?
There is nothing you can say to make someone’s experience less painful. The best thing you can do for someone experiencing miscarriage is to be present and allow them to grieve with you.
More Posts About Miscarriage
- Blighted ovum miscarriage: what to expect + symptoms
- Miscarriage tattoos for moms
- Arden’s misoprostol experience
- What to expect when you miscarry
- Finding a pregnancy loss support group
- After miscarriage, what to do
- Why you don’t have to go to a baby shower after miscarriage
Posts About Miscarriage Support
- What to say to someone who had a miscarriage
- What to do when a friend had a miscarriage
- How to support someone after miscarriage
More Miscarriage Gift Guides
Katy Huie Harrison, PhD, is an author, mom, recurrent miscarriage survivor, & owner of Undefining Motherhood. She lives in Atlanta with her husband (affectionately known on the internet as “Husband,”) son (Jack), and dog (Charlotte). She believes our society puts too many expectations on women that make womanhood and motherhood restrictive. Her goal is to shift the paradigm about what it means to be a woman and mother, giving all women a greater sense of agency over their own lives. You can find Katy and her work featured in places like CNN’s Headline News, Romper, Scary Mommy, Demeter Press’s Motherhood and Social Exclusion, & more.